October Is Domestic Violence Month

Last Thursday, I was invited by my friends at WLTX TV to come onto their morning show and talk about the free self defense workshop I was doing in honor of Domestic Violence month.

You can see a video of the segments below:

Thanks again to WLTX for being such a gracious host.


Sensei Chris Feldt
Samurai Karate Studio
Columbia, SC 29229
803-462-9425
samuraikaratestudio@gmail.com

The Wrong Kind Of Love

 

By Susan Murphy-Milano

At what cost to ourselves do we remain in a relationship? Likely this is not a question we ever ask ourselves. But, why not?

Could it be that in our lives we settle? Are we too embarrassed to admit when the individual we have chosen to spend our lives with is not who they were at the beginning of the relationship? The answer is yes.

The wrong kind of love includes emotional warfare. A destructive game played in a relationship when a person chips away at the very foundation of another individual. Emotional warfare is an invisible dagger to the heart. You don't see it coming when confronted. Below are some examples of :

Emotional Abuse

• Name calling: “you’re a bitch, a whore, fat, ugly, stupid, slut, trash”.
• You are constantly told that you are crazy, that you need a psychiatrist; they threaten to have you committed. They tell your children that you are crazy and make them believe that they are not safe with you. They hide personal items in an attempt to convince you or others that, “you are losing it.”
• They intentionally say things to embarrass you in front of others. They make remarks about your appearance or belittle you. They talk over you if you are engaged in conversation, or consistently contradict you in an effort to discredit you, or make you feel stupid.

You can read the rest of this very important article at Times Up!




Sensei Chris Feldt
Samurai Karate Studio
Columbia, SC 29229
803-462-9425
samuraikaratestudio@gmail.com

Domestic Violence & Murder

Domestic Violence Statistics

People ask me all the time, why do I talk about domestic violence as part of my self defense workshops or classes?

It's simple really!

Because South Carolina ranks 6th in the nation in domestic violence and is currently 10th on the list for domestic violence murders!

While I love South Carolina, the cold hard truth is women in this state are more likely to be attacked by someone they know, then a complete stranger.

As such, here are some statistics that I pulled a couple of years ago, that haven't changed much since then:

Domestic Violence Statistics

Sex of Victim
Male 24.0%
Female 76.0%

Relationships
Ex-spouse 2.5%
Family 31.5%
Romantic 28.3%
Marital 37.7%

Substance Use
Alcohol 23.6%
Drugs .7%
Drugs & alcohol 1.2%
No substance 74.5%

Offenses
Homicide .2%
Sexual violence 2.6%
Robbery .3%
Aggravated assault 21.1%
Simple assault 65.4%


Weapons
Blunt objects 18.8%
Firearms 12.2%
Knives 20.0%
Motor vehicles 3.2%
Other 5.7%

Victims Age
<4 1.1%
5-9 1.6%
10-14 3.4%
15-17 4.9%
18-24 22.4%
25-34 31.5%
35-44 22.5%
45-54 8.3%
55-64 2.8%
>65 1.5%

Injuries
Broken bones 1.0%
Death .5%
Internal injuries .9%
Knocked unconscious .3%
Loss of teeth .3%
Major injury 5.2%
Minor injury 83.4%
Severe laceration 8.5%

Location
Bar/Nightclub .9%
Commercial/office 2.4%
Convenience store .6%
Educational institution .4%
Highway/roads 5.6%
Hotel/motel 1.1%
Other 1.8%
Parking lot 1.1%
Private residence 86.1%

Day of the Week
Sunday 17.0%
Monday 12.7%
Tuesday 12.7%
Wednesday 12.2%
Thursday 12.5%
Friday 14.0%
Saturday 18.9%


Factors Contributing to Domestic Violence

Unfortunately, there is no one single factor that explains why men and women assault or abuse their spouses. Based on my research, there is a general consensus that you will find one or many of the traits listed below of abusers:

• Relative young age 18-30 years old (lack of maturity)
• Low income
• Growing up in a violent or abusive family
• Alcohol or substance abuse
• Unemployment
• Sexual difficulties
• Low job satisfaction
• Problem with anger management
• Most offenders tend to have an anti-social personality
• Impaired ability to feel guilt, remorse or anxiety

If you, or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please seek help from either me, one of your other professors, your family, your church or a local domestic organization like Sister Care, which does tremendous work in the Columbia area.

If you would like additional resources, please visit on online resource website that has lots of information on it about domestic violence, including a resources tab at Everything Self Defense.

Domestic Violence And Why It Is Relevant

For those of you that might have missed it, Dr. Phil had a special on domestic violence this past week.  It was sickening.  Several ladies were featured who were dealing with ex-husbands/boy friends that were physically and mentally torturing them.  We all know domestic violence is happening, but when you personalize it and see the effects of an abusive situation, it's really frightening AND maddening.

Have I been sitting on the sidelines doing nothing?  Heck no!

I have raised money for one of the big domestic shelters in Columbia and I have taught free self defense workshops for the volunteers of this shelter, as well as several of their clients.  I did quite a bit of research online, to better understand this topic and include domestic violence facts and statistics in my free quarterly self defense workshops where the community is invited.

Why?


South Carolina is ranked 6th in the nation in domestic violence and 10th in domestic violence murders!  It's very relevant to the work I do in my community AND more than likely, it's very relevant to the work YOU do!

I just created a free resource that includes resources on domestic violence, bullying, stranger danger, etc.  You can take a peek at it  HERE.

Now, the real work is to figure out a way to incorporate domestic violence into my INTELLIGENT CURRICULUM.

Long term domestic violence: Being abused in this manner is like being kidnapped and tortured for ransom but you will never have enough to pay off the kidnapper. by Rebecca J. Burns


Sensei Chris Feldt
 Samurai Karate Studio
Columbia, SC 29229
803-462-9425
samuraikaratestudio@gmail.com

Domestic Violence: The Facts

According to Safe Horizon's website, the following are the latest facts on domestic violence:

 

Domestic violence (also known as intimate partner violence) can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, orientation, socio-economic status, or other factors.

The Victims

• One in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime. 
• Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.
• Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner (30%) than men (5%).
• Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
• Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her partner.

The Families

• Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.
• Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence are also victims of abuse or neglect in 30% of 60% of such cases.
• A 2005 Michigan study found that children exposed to domestic violence at home show greater symptoms of trauma, including becoming sick more often, complaining frequently of headaches or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic.
• A 2003 study found that children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent – which places the child at great risk for injury or even death.

You can find more information HERE.


Sensei Chris Feldt
Samurai Karate Studio
Columbia, SC 29229
803-462-9425